Thursday, April 30, 2009

Extra Credit

Should I give extra credit to my students who read my book for their outside reading assignment? Or should they simply enjoy a good book to read?
Go ahead, discuss.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Nitwits on Twitter . . . now available.

Just for the fun of it, you can follow my silly Nitwitter jokes on Twitter. I write Nitwit jokes for my seven year old, but on Twitter we call them Nitwitter jokes, when I remember to change the name. Here are a few samples:

How did little bro Nitwit fall out of the tree?

His mom told him to rake the leaves.
Why did big bro Nitwit put a dress on the trash can and take it to the high school dance?

Well, his mom told him it was about time that he took out the garbage.
Why did big ol’ Nitwit throw his friend really hard everyday he saw him?

His name was Chuck.
Why did big sis Nitwit get so excited about going to get rhinoplasty?

It would be the first time in her life she wouldn’t be ridiculed for picking her nose?
Why did Grandpa Nitwit sit on the beach and keep repeating ‘hello’?

He said it was because the ocean kept waving.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Reviewed and Approved by Los Angeles Public Library

I have just received word that Substitute Wizard has been reviewed by the Los Angeles Public Library and it has been approved for purchase. This May it will be on the Young Adult purchasing list for all 70+ branches. This is great for a self-published title. Thank you Tami Celi for helping me get the ball rolling on this. It will hopefully allow the book to be considered for placement on Reading Counts and Accelerated Reader.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Pack 333 Cub Scout Stew

My son is in the Scouts and we had a great time camping this past weekend. I was asked to do something for the campfire, so Pack 333 here is the poem from the great camp-out at Decker Canyon.

Cub Scout Stew
by Jim Chrisman 2009
Read at the Decker Canyon overnight camp 4-3-09

Stir, stir, stir, I make my Cub Scout Stew.
Thanks for contributing a piece of you.

First in the pot, I’ll drop Jack Compton’s eyebrows;
Add Scott Bender’s voice: the part that ooh’s and ow’s.
Jacob Vertelney’s shoulder blade in the bubbles would be snazzy,
Followed by the long curled toenails of Michael Mastalski.

For flavor, I’ll add all of Andrew Trieger’s gnarly knuckles,
And then Nicholas Salit’s belly laugh, just for the chuckles;
A piece of Brandon Goldflam’s tongue, the part that likes sweet;
Benjamin Kaslow’s calves, no bones about it, only the meat.

Reed Schnieder, how about the lobes of both his ears?
And from Matt Alperson I’ll steal two big happy-time tears.
From Matthew Sniderman his pinkies, the ones that are toes
Go in the soup with all the ookie stuff from Darren Solursh’s nose.

Jacob Adivi will gladly give up the sockets of his hips,
And Garret Green, why not his upper and lower lips?
I think that little mustache on Jerry Scott’s face
Will go with Alex Steinhauer’s ear wax . . . only a trace.

Jonathon Kaslow’s windpipe will double bubble the pot.
Michael Reuven belly button glop will add a certain rot.
What’d be nice is Henry Lake’s filet of belly
Coupled with Marc Robison’s toe jam . . . no toe jelly.

Justin Zilberstien, well, he can give up his ogre green liver,
And from Nathan Doctor, a squeal, a shake, and a shiver.
I’ll shave his head and take Michael Martin’s slick hair.
Chase Freeman will give his cheeks . . . the ones in his underwear.

Justin Miles’s stomach lining I can already taste
With Max Kinsel’s teeth and its left over tooth paste.
Ethan Lee I’ll nab what the tooth fairy rejected
Andrew Mardell what the he . . . heck, anything that’s been infected.

Finn Schwartz, I’ll take all the bits of loose skin;
From Kai Rosenthal shavings from his left shin;
Jake Packenham will donate a knee cap or two,
But I’ll leave Howard out; he’d spoil the stew.

Joe Chrisman’s marbles, if he’s got any in his head;
Casey Nuckolls stare, the one that can raise the dead;
Brandyn Samuels, I want those short nostril strings;
Andrei Niemczykahh, some bits and some things.

Elijah Schwartz will surrender both his arm pits;
Kyle Martin his eyelids, just the slits;
From Dylan Correia an elbow joint that stretches and creaks,
And finally, from Shane Egerstrom, I’ll squeeze all that leaks.

Stir . . . sniff . . . gasp . . .
Oh my! This brew reeks.

I can’t serve this to any of my regular clientele.
Oh look, Cub Scouts . . .
Want some? . . . It’s swell.