Substitute Wizard

Melody of Words

2010-04-28T08:38:00.001-07:00

Tonight I will be at El Camino Real High School in Woodland Hills as part of Melody of Words.

It is a great literacy event. Come on out and hear me read from Substitute Wizard and from my poetry collection for kids called Chickens Don't Have Fingers (Not yet available).

As well, there will be many other presenters that run the gamut of literature from children's to adult and from humor to drama.

Check it out 6:00 today Wednesday, April 28.

YOUNG ADULT FICTION WINNER

2009-05-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

Next Generation Indie Book Awards®
YOUNG ADULT FICTION WINNER:
Substitute Wizard, by Jim Chrisman (Jim Chrisman)

Thanks to everyone who has purchased a book. I will get you those cool little stickers that go along with my medal. Thanks Christine and Terry who have helped so much with this, now, award winning book.

This is so cool!!!

I'll take that!

2009-05-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

This is from one of my eighth grade students who read my book: "It's like the first book I actually liked to read without any pictures."

I'll take that!

Extra Credit

2009-04-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

Should I give extra credit to my students who read my book for their outside reading assignment? Or should they simply enjoy a good book to read?
Go ahead, discuss.

Nitwits on Twitter . . . now available.

2009-04-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Just for the fun of it, you can follow my silly Nitwitter jokes on Twitter. I write Nitwit jokes for my seven year old, but on Twitter we call them Nitwitter jokes, when I remember to change the name. Here are a few samples:

How did little bro Nitwit fall out of the tree?

His mom told him to rake the leaves.
*
Why did big bro Nitwit put a dress on the trash can and take it to the high school dance?

Well, his mom told him it was about time that he took out the garbage.
*
Why did big ol’ Nitwit throw his friend really hard everyday he saw him?

His name was Chuck.
*
Why did big sis Nitwit get so excited about going to get rhinoplasty?

It would be the first time in her life she wouldn’t be ridiculed for picking her nose?
*
Why did Grandpa Nitwit sit on the beach and keep repeating ‘hello’?

He said it was because the ocean kept waving.

Reviewed and Approved by Los Angeles Public Library

2009-04-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

I have just received word that Substitute Wizard has been reviewed by the Los Angeles Public Library and it has been approved for purchase. This May it will be on the Young Adult purchasing list for all 70+ branches. This is great for a self-published title. Thank you Tami Celi for helping me get the ball rolling on this. It will hopefully allow the book to be considered for placement on Reading Counts and Accelerated Reader.

Pack 333 Cub Scout Stew

2009-04-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

My son is in the Scouts and we had a great time camping this past weekend. I was asked to do something for the campfire, so Pack 333 here is the poem from the great camp-out at Decker Canyon.

Cub Scout Stew
by Jim Chrisman 2009
Read at the Decker Canyon overnight camp 4-3-09

Stir, stir, stir, I make my Cub Scout Stew.
Thanks for contributing a piece of you.

First in the pot, I’ll drop Jack Compton’s eyebrows;
Add Scott Bender’s voice: the part that ooh’s and ow’s.
Jacob Vertelney’s shoulder blade in the bubbles would be snazzy,
Followed by the long curled toenails of Michael Mastalski.

For flavor, I’ll add all of Andrew Trieger’s gnarly knuckles,
And then Nicholas Salit’s belly laugh, just for the chuckles;
A piece of Brandon Goldflam’s tongue, the part that likes sweet;
Benjamin Kaslow’s calves, no bones about it, only the meat.

Reed Schnieder, how about the lobes of both his ears?
And from Matt Alperson I’ll steal two big happy-time tears.
From Matthew Sniderman his pinkies, the ones that are toes
Go in the soup with all the ookie stuff from Darren Solursh’s nose.

Jacob Adivi will gladly give up the sockets of his hips,
And Garret Green, why not his upper and lower lips?
I think that little mustache on Jerry Scott’s face
Will go with Alex Steinhauer’s ear wax . . . only a trace.

Jonathon Kaslow’s windpipe will double bubble the pot.
Michael Reuven belly button glop will add a certain rot.
What’d be nice is Henry Lake’s filet of belly
Coupled with Marc Robison’s toe jam . . . no toe jelly.

Justin Zilberstien, well, he can give up his ogre green liver,
And from Nathan Doctor, a squeal, a shake, and a shiver.
I’ll shave his head and take Michael Martin’s slick hair.
Chase Freeman will give his cheeks . . . the ones in his underwear.

Justin Miles’s stomach lining I can already taste
With Max Kinsel’s teeth and its left over tooth paste.
Ethan Lee I’ll nab what the tooth fairy rejected
Andrew Mardell what the he . . . heck, anything that’s been infected.

Finn Schwartz, I’ll take all the bits of loose skin;
From Kai Rosenthal shavings from his left shin;
Jake Packenham will donate a knee cap or two,
But I’ll leave Howard out; he’d spoil the stew.

Joe Chrisman’s marbles, if he’s got any in his head;
Casey Nuckolls stare, the one that can raise the dead;
Brandyn Samuels, I want those short nostril strings;
Andrei Niemczyk – ahh, some bits and some things.

Elijah Schwartz will surrender both his arm pits;
Kyle Martin his eyelids, just the slits;
From Dylan Correia an elbow joint that stretches and creaks,
And finally, from Shane Egerstrom, I’ll squeeze all that leaks.

Stir . . . sniff . . . gasp . . .
Oh my! This brew reeks.

I can’t serve this to any of my regular clientele.
Oh look, Cub Scouts . . .
Want some? . . . It’s swell.

Shout Out to Columbus

2009-03-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hey all you Columbus Middle School students who are checking out the website and reading the book, thanks. I hope that your book reviews are excellent and that SW rates at least a beach book. (A beach book is a book that one can read at the beach, put down, and get back into it without too much of a problem.) I enjoy your updates and your positive comments as well as your questions. This is a great journey and your input is sure helpful. SM, TK, AN, and EG, I truly think that you are going to enjoy the remaining pages. Now get to it ;>).

The Cat in the Hat

2009-02-22T22:12:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I bought my sister, Kathy, The Cat in the Hat, and challenged her to finish it within a year. She failed. Yet, I was given possibly the greatest compliment an author can get, and it came from my sister, Kathy. She called up and said, that with twenty pages to go in Substitute Wizard, she wanted to stop reading. That is right--she was reading a novel, my novel, and she told me she wanted to stop reading. What a wonderful compliment for an author. I think you know: she wanted to stop reading because she didn't want the story to end. What greater compliment can an author get? She didn't want the story to end, and this is from a lady that does not sit down often to do anything let alone read. I am so overjoyed with being able to create such a story that would want my sister to quit it . . . because she was enjoying it so much. So I say to you sister, I see why it took you so long to finish The Cat in the Hat, you didn't want it to end.

Fluidity

2009-02-03T18:01:00.000-08:00

It has been a wonderful first few weeks now that SW is out. I have received some encouraging feedback from many who have begun to read the book. I must say that the comments on the writing itself have been extra-special. My son's Cub Scout leader said the writing is fluid. I take pride in such an observation. I worked many hours (quite a bit of rewriting) crafting prose that express information, move story, and create mood, yet engage the ear and interest the intellect. I hope I have achieved it with SW. To those that have commented on the writing itself with positive remarks, I thank you. I hope you enjoy the story as well.

Jim

Finishing . . .

2009-01-19T16:04:00.001-08:00

I am so glad to have this opportunity to write to those interested in my book. A few of you have asked what it takes to finally finish writing. Well, it takes a start. Second to that, a firm goal is really what makes a difference. My wife gave me the gift of self-publishing for my birthday in 08. Once the money was outlaid, I really felt deadlines and I overcame that twenty minutes of "getting started" fiddling everytime I was getting started on a rewrite or an edit. This turned into a serious venture because it was now beyond a hobby or a life goal--it was real. So I say to you my friends who have asked: if you are serious about writing and finishing writing, seeing your project for sale--invest. Invest your money. It is a great motivator.

Jim

Up and Running

2009-01-18T20:43:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank all of you who have purchased my book in the last week, but most of all, I would like to thank all of you who have wished me success. I hope I will hear from all of you in the coming weeks, when you have had time to enjoy the novel.
A special thanks to my sister, Kathy, who purchased a whole flock of books as Christmas presents.
A special thanks to my sister-in-law, Terry, who created my website.
A special thanks to my wife, who has really organized it all.

Thaks, thanks, thanks.

Book Release

2009-01-10T17:14:00.000-08:00

The book is now available on Amazon.com. To purchase, simply click on the BUY THE BOOK link to the right!